Psalm 66: Joy

It's quite ironic that today's quiet time topic was about joy. It's ironic because I was actually looking for something more direct that would help appease my issues with anger lately. But the Lord works and calls His children in mysterious ways and instead of giving me a passage that said, "Hey, get rid of your anger. Be slow to anger and quick to love", He gave me Psalm 66. Lately I've been so wrapped up in anger and frustration with almost every aspect of my life I became blind in giving God the glory, praise, and joy that should have been the overflow of my heart. Instead I let hate get to me, letting it seep into every crack and crevice inside me and feeding it with more and more things that came at me. And then today the CD in my car played Always Love by Nada Surf and my lightbulb went off: "Always love, hate will get you every time. Always love, even when you want to fight." I feel like such a horrible person. I don't know how and where to begin to try and mend some of the cracked relationships. I see relationships with people like they're glass. Every connection you have with someone is so incredibly fragile; if you drop it, it'll shatter and it's so difficult--sometimes nearly impossible to repair it. Right now, some of my relationships with certain people have a chip in it, and I need to fix that chip before it starts to expand and eventually crack altogether. Where is that joy that I once had before?? That hope and happiness I once held through even the hardest of times? I feel so discouraged and left in the dust, and the only company I have beside me is hatred. I don't want to be so angry all the time anymore. It makes me angry just thinking about it. I can't even tell people how angry I am because then I just look like a psycho who hates everyone. Blah, sleep it off. Pray it off. I'm tired.