Servanthood.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Philippians 2:5-8

I have to confess- I started this off all wrong. When I first came to cornerstone, I came in wanting to serve, serve, serve. And when I wasn't given that opportunity right away, I became frustrated and bitter. Unbeknownst to me at that time, it wasn't that I was not given an opportunity, but that I was being my own stumbling block against myself to go out and create opportunity. Looking back, my desires to "serve" in church was all motivated for my own selfish gains and consequently all in vain.

But I remember one of ("Pastor"?) Thomas' messages about discipleship at the retreat earlier this year that we as Christians, part of our duties is to be a disciple and serve in our church. It doesn't matter what we do, whether it is running an event, leading praise, or simply praying for our church- that is what a servant's heart is all about- doing whatever it takes to glorify God's kingdom. After that, I really didn't know what else to do but to pray for cornerstone. And through that God opened up small windows of opportunities for me. Ever since I gave up trying to please myself and others, trying to prove that I could be of some use- I had to reflect upon my motives of wanting to serve. What is the point of tiring yourself every Sunday to Wednesday to Friday if none of it is out of complete love for God? What kind of earthly gains do we receive by showing up to church every week if it isn't all for Him?

Even now I find myself in constant struggle when it comes to serving. But through it I've discovered this newfound joy that I can't put into words (because I'm not that great of a writer)- and I wish and hope and pray that everyone else would be encouraged to find that joy in serving rather than seeing church as an obligation or just another item to check off on their to-do list.