i want to be used by You.

one of pastor dave's sermons from couple weeks ago randomly popped up in my head.. and then i got this sudden ill-feeling that washed over me--a kind of fear: i don't want to be benched by God. that is probably the worst thing that could happen to you as a Christian. i remember reading 1 Samuel over the summer and acknowledging such a fear and reverence for Him. God anointed Saul as king; but King Saul rejected the Word of the Lord, and in return the Lord rejected Saul and left him. I dread to even wonder what it would feel like to have God turn His head away from you for good.