This year's retreat made me realize how much I've grown within the past year. I don't mean growth by which I've gone from super sinner to super Christian, because let's face it, it'll be a long while until I reach that level. I compare my spiritual life this year from last year, and I'm relieved and so blessed to say that this past year has been such a pivotal point in my life. Exactly a year ago I remember my small group co-leader Gloria urging me to go to this retreat and me thinking "Oh gosh... I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go.. I'd rather go to Vuz.." Even up until the minute that Gloria came to pick me up, I was shoving clothes into my duffel bag trying to come up with last minute "emergencies" to wiggle my way out of going. But man did those couple of nights blow me away. That's when I re-realized that God had not forgot about me; in fact, He spoke to me that very night through the speaker's messages and prayer sessions calling for me, urging me to come back to Him. Looking back at that night and throughout the rest of the year up until the present, I don't want to say that I've come a long way, but seriously, look at my life. It's only because of Him that I am privileged to be serving and leading in the very church that only a year ago I wanted to have nothing to do with.
So with that said, this year's retreat was a whole different type of blessing. It wasn't the hit-on-the-head, "man my life is changed!" but rather a deeper kind of realization that God is still working in my life harder than ever. Now I learn things that go deeper than the question of "Who is God?" and more into "What can I do to know Him better and make His name known?"
God still continues to speak to me through messages; something that I've never been able to fully appreciate until last year. God speaks to people in many different ways: during prayer, reading the Scripture, signs and miracles, etc. To me, I hear His voice the strongest through sermons. During the retreat, He spoke through Pastor Adam, reminding me of how much He has provided for me despite my attitude of thinking that I have been so underprivileged compared to those around me. Talk about an attitude check! In the bigger scope of things, I am anything BUT underprivileged; as a matter of fact, I am OVER-privileged. I am spoiled to the core. Or I guess if you want to look at the glass half-full, I am immensely blessed; my cup is overflowed. So with all my provisions, with this privilege, "what am I to do with it?" was the gist of this retreat (at least that's what I got out of it). "If it costs nothing, it accomplishes nothing." Simply put, no pain no gain. Everything comes at a price. Some at a cheap price, some more. But as with a lot of material things in the world, the more something costs, the more value we put upon the object and vice versa. So with this life that I have, if I sacrifice nothing of value, according to theory, I won't produce anything of value in return. This is the economics of spirituality haha.
